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| Boundaries in Marriage |
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| Manufacturer: Zondervan |
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| List Price: $14.99 |
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Establishing and appreciative boundaries are crucial to the success of a marriage, according to authors Cloud and Townsend, who cowrote the award-attractive and biblically-based book Boundaries. For model, boundaries help us know where one person ends and the other starts, the authors claim: "Once we know the boundaries, we know who should be owning the conundrum we are wrestling with," they write. "This issue of ownership is vital to any relationship, mainly marriage." But more much, couples need to claim and take responsibility for the "treasures that lie within their party borders," such as: "feelings, attitudes, behaviors, choices, limits, wishes, view, values, talents, and like." Based on the book that superior them to inhabitant prominence, Cloud and Townsend caution readers not to use this self-help manifesto as a means to change one's spouse. Rather, this is a book about taking responsibility for oneself in all aspects of life, but mainly within the boundaries of marital commitment.
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Manufactured goods Details |
- ISBN13: 9780310243144
- Shape up: New
- Notes: BUY WITH CONFIDENCE, Over one million books sold! 98% Clear feedback. Compare our books, prices and service to the competition. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed
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Consumer Reviews |
 An Incredibly Helpful Book for the Married and the Engaged! |
| Review Date: December 28, 2006 |
| Reviewer: Laura Butler, Plano, TX |
This was the first book by Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend that I have read. Therefore, I can neither confirm nor deny a additional reviewer's statement that it is essentially a rehash of the original Boundaries book. Having not read any of the other Boundaries books yet, I found this one to be quite brilliant.
Whether or not you are a believer in Christ, this book can still be incredibly helpful if you're keen to read it with an open mind. It may even be helpful if you have a closed mind and you don't even want it to be helpful. ;) The strength in it is that it is not a "How To" book. The authors realized that lists of go up actions to change don't change the heart. They focus on pointing out principles and revealing truth. They give plenty of examples and paint pictures of how particular actions make others feel. This helps you see beyond yourself, thus allowing you to cooperate with your spouse with superior grace and mercy. The changes in your actions are the result rather than the key.
A additional thing I really like about this book is that it clarifies what submission and sacrifice in marriage really look like in the Bible and not in what the world believes that to look like. It clarifies that submission is always to be done in like and with the perspective of All that God has taught us through His Word. This means that submission and sacrifice do not mean giving up all your wishes and doing all your spouse tells you to do; it means upholding your responsibility to like your spouse no matter what (ie. loving them enough to help help the end of unhealthy behaviors and actions). Truly like your spouse as the Bible commands, will require you to say, "No," some times, it will require you to actively participate by expression your own feelings and taking ownership for them, and it may even call for you to make a boundary of space by removing yourself if your spouse is being abusive. I have found this book to be very helpful for relationships outside of marriage as well (friendships, work hierarchys, family, etc).
The book starts by clarifying what a boundary really is (a means to help us determine "...where a name's power starts and ends" pg 24) and what it is not (a means to power a name else). It then continues to displace general society's definition of boundaries you may have in mind by explaining why and how boundaries and frankness are not mutually exclusive. Part 1 continues with a conversation of truths (laws) about marriage and people in general to be taken into account when one is background boundaries and trying to accept a additional's boundaries.
Part 2 discusses 'oneness' and 'twoness', and it also addresses values. I believe the reviewer who had issues with this book being focused on twoness misunderstood this part. The authors are just pointing out that you weren't always one together so you have to know that it takes work for two to become one. In fact, their first real statement in this part is that oneness is in fact God's very design for marriage. Their point is that you can't depend on a name else to perfect you; the thought is for your spouse to compliment and enhance you. My only issue with this part is that no person is absolutely perfect, and the authors seem to take the thought that this can be and should be the case. Christ is still carrying out a excellent work in us, and we won't be perfect until we are home with Him in heaven. I reckon a better way the authors could have phrased this part is that the those should be able to assume responsibility and appreciative for both their strengths and shortcomings.
Part 3 is the matter-of-fact part that guides you in handling conflict. It helps you learn to handle it by first helping you define the type of conflict. It addresses handling conflict with a name who is keen AND with a name who is resistant.
Finally, Part 4 reemphasizes what boundaries are and what they are not. It discusses the misuse of boundaries.
This book holds quite a bit of in rank. I would recommend reading a part or two at a time and allowing breaks in between readings to evaluate and soak in the in rank. I hope you glean a touch vital that will bless you from this book! Delight in! |
This book saved my marriage and my sanity
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| Review Date: August 31, 2005 |
| Reviewer: Juniper Blue, Spirit Lake, ID |
| Literally it did. I had read dozens of books trying to find a way to salvage my marriage, counting numerous advising doing anything to please your husband. You know the ones-"no matter what,stay sweet" kind of thing,but building a truly loving marriage isn't that simple. "Boundaries in Marriage" gives advice on how you (man or woman)can be loving but also stand firm- stand firm in the areas that define your frankness as an party, your self accept and your dignity as a human being. This was the first book on relationships that made total sense to me and that made a truly clear difference in my life. I also recommend "Boundaries" by the same authors. |
Fantastic Book
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| Review Date: January 4, 2000 |
| Reviewer: , |
| This was a very excellent book. It helps you to concentrate on your errors and what you in fact have power over. It helps you keep focused on what you can change about the relationship and not how you can change a name else. |
Don't get married without reading it.
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| Review Date: March 7, 2001 |
| Reviewer: Lorraine Wright, saratoga springs, New York United States |
| I believe this book is an brilliant gift to give as an date bestow or shower gift, but it needn't stop there. I have been married for over 35 years and there are practicals in the book which I never cultured to use or stand up to. It is never too late to learn and information based on Biblical principals is hard to deny. I wish I had the book thirty-six years ago. |
Boot Camp for Marriages
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| Review Date: January 15, 2004 |
| Reviewer: juli, Nashville, TN |
| This is an incredible book. It mirrors basic biblical principles and applies them to marriage. The whole time I was reading the book, I was thinking "This is so simple, but so profound". The book stresses Biblical "boundaries" for actions between husband and wife. It encourages those to look at their own actions in a marriage and concentrate on humanizing their weaknesses. This could be uncomfortable for those who are unwilling to face the truth about themselves or take responsibility for their own faults. But if you are looking to read a touch that could momentously improve your marriage and your mind-set towards relationships in general, this is the book to read. |
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